Jan 30, 19:02
Dear Reagan,
As I type this, you are sitting at my feet playing happily with some of your daddy's work maps. They're laminated, so I think/hope they will be safe from you!

I know I say it every month, but I seriously cannot believe you are already 9 months. In just 3 short months, we will be celebrating your first birthday. This is mind-blowing to me.

I'm so overwhelmed right now, every month that goes by, I get more and more afraid that I won't be able to handle being a mom. Soon we will be getting into issues of discipline, life teachings, sharing, all that good stuff. What if I mess it up? It's so scary. I just trust my instincts, and follow your lead for the most part. You're pretty good at telling me what you need, when you need it (usually you "shout" at me, hehe).

Still no real words yet, you prefer to stick to shrieking and squealing more than anything. You do say "babababa" alot, and the other day you said something like "yeah-yeah!" towards your daddy, sounded very much like "da-da!". You haven't said Ma-ma in awhile, so I guess that will come on its own. I'm not going to rush you, and it's not like you can be rushed anyways.

You are getting into EVERYTHING. It's fun in a sense, you're so much more playful and I love chasing you around, and having you chase me. You aren't much of a laugher, but you do grin and squeal alot (you are doing it at this minute, actually). You do it in such a hilarious way, it's like you KNOW what you are saying. Your eyebrows raise, you nod, and squeak and squeal to your heart's content. So funny!

You pull up, crawl, roll over (of course), sit up on your own, push yourself to sitting, you can even stand on your own for very short seconds at a time. You don't do it much, but if I'm holding your hands and let go, you will do it from time to time. It's always freaky to me, I can't imagine you walking around this place! It almost makes me crack up, picturing it for some reason. Still, just a month ago you were just getting the hang of crawling, and in just these few short weeks you have really taken off. What will next month bring?

You love your food, too! Ever since I introduced toast the other day, you don't really like me feeding you anymore. You keep trying to grab the spoon yourself, and get mad at me while I feed you. We are going to have to buckle down and get you a seat with a tray, so you can really feed yourself now! You love grabbing the spoon out of my hand, and then trying to feed yourself. I prefer to not have ALL your outfits stained with carrots and sweet peas though, so I don't let you much. Not until we get actual finger foods, or less watery baby food! I'm almost afraid I wasted money on all the jarred food in the cabinet. I spent almost $20 on baby food the other day, and you might want nothing to do with it now! Dang. I'll get creative and mix it in with stuff if I get desperate, I guess.

I've finally hit the end of my rope on bringing you to work with me, unfortunately. It really worked out great for awhile, but you just require way too much supervision now! After much searching, we finally have someone to watch you twice a week (Hi Katie!), and that is such a relief. I'll miss you, but I won't be gone long anyways. I know you'll have more fun playing at home, than being stuck in a playpen at work with me.

I wish this was a funnier letter, but I'm just so worn out I can't even think of anything hilarious to type. You are a cutie, though. You get lots of attention everywhere I go. People stop me, talk to you, ask about you, talk about your big blue eyes, your teeth, your smile, your hair, everything. I never get tired of all the attention, although sometimes it makes my outings take alot longer than I plan!

Well, you are now pulling on my shirt and yelling at me. It's definitely getting too close to your bedtime. I love you so much, sweetie.
I'm going to get you to sleep now! haha.

Love,
Mama!

( Click here for stats and pictures, now that she's in bed! )

Whew.

Time to go clean up my messy place.

♥
Ash