Happy "Birthday", Chloe baby. :)
You are officially one month old today. So far I'm not noticing huge milestones or anything, and that's normal. Well, except you smile every now and then, right at us! I've made all sorts of funny faces and noises while you watch me for as long as I have time to, and I've been rewarded with a quirky smile from time to time. So, thank you so much for that. It helps me more than you will know for a long time. I don't want you to grow up too fast, but

I also admit that I am anxious for you to be able to interact with us a little more. Smiles and giggles are rewards for a job well done, and I can't wait to get those. It won't be long.
You sleep well with me at night until about 4 AM, then you start waking up more often and just get generally fussy. Probably because I don't burp you much throughout the night, I don't know.

Speaking of burping, I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for not being a "spitter". I hope I'm not jinxing anything by even writing about this, but you almost never spit up and that is a blessing I can't even describe. Your sister was. Oh boy, was she. Do you know, I had to stop drinking milk for 6 months after she was born? So far you don't seem to have any food sensitivities, and I thank you a million times over for that. I could use the break.

You're such a little joy, and Reagan loves kissing your head and petting you over and over again. I can't get her to stop, and is a bit of a pain when you're trying to sleep in your bouncy seat. That's ok, though. I'm excited to watch your relationship with your sister grow! I love you, baby. So, so much.













♥

I talk too fast when I get nervous. I WILL STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY.

It is horrible. I'm not scared of the phone, but I do get uncomfortable when talking to specific people and I talk sooo fast. I called a lady today to update her on some work, and she literally had to say, "ASHLEY. SLOW DOWN." :x I was so embarrassed. I think she was joking with me, but it made me realize how fast I go when I'm nervous (and she makes me nervous). I think it's because I know they're busy and I'm trying to not take up their time, but it just takes longer because I seriously have to repeat myself at least twice, sometimes three times. Ugh.

I think I'm going to join the "dark side" and start reading Harry Potter. I know, right? I'm a little interested in it. I've only read one book..I think the Chamber of Secrets, and I've seen one movie but I don't remember which one. It's been years. I want to try and catch up before the last film comes out though, because I don't want the ending to be spoiled for me (although it may be spoiled since the last book is coming out soon, anyway).

I feel things are looking up for us lately. Well, I don't just FEEL it. They are. We'll be working our butts off for awhile, but it will pay off. It is already starting to pay off some, which is fabulous.

Dear LORD my daughter is adorable. 14 months already.
Some new things of hers:

- shaking her head "no"
- nodding her head "yes" (really only when I nod at her first, so far)
- blowing kisses constantly
- eating bigger pieces of food: last night I made beef tips and rice (with some peas and carrots mixed in), and I made her a bowl of it with smaller pieces of beef. She mostly just picked out the beef and rice and ate it, leaving the veggies. Sigh. I'll keep trying. She eats veggies fine when they're pureed and fed in a spoon, but lately has been refusing to eat the regular version.
- saying "daddy" more clearly. She used to say "dadadada" around John, and starting yesterday she began directing it at John only and saying "Da-yee". Small thing, but worth noting in my book.
- blowing rasberries with her tongue
- not new, but cute: dancing! anytime any music is put on, she stops whatever she's doing and grins real big while bopping up and down with the music. Freaking adorable.

I wish I could post new pics, but I've been without a camera as ours broke. John is having to use extra of ours for his work, so I've empty-handed lately. :( I'll try and remember to take some pictures in the morning before John leaves for work.

Elizabeth came over last night for a couple hours...we watched "Because I Said So". CUTE movie. I hate that it bombed, because it was really fun to watch. Although some of the acting was way over the top, COME ON, it's a chick flick! We really enjoyed it, I would recommend it to anyone who is a fan of that genre. I told Elizabeth, "PLEEEAASE do not let me be that way with any of my kids. PLEASE." She solemnly swore she wouldn't allow it.

In other good news, we managed to squeeze in grocery shopping and I only spent $45. It got us food for a week, isn't that awesome? Possibly even longer with leftovers, but I don't like to eat until the shelves are bare if I can help it. I know it sounds like a small feat, but I budgeted for $50 (and brought cash!), and so I have a little extra to work with next time. We're doing the Dave Ramsey envelope thing, if that explains anything. I'm too tired to go into it, but it's extremely helpful so google it if you're interested. haha

I'm also going to start being way more consistent on signing with Reagan. She doesn't really use any words at all other than Mama, Daddy, and cracker, so we need to figure some way out to communicate at least a little bit. The meltdowns and whining are getting to be too much for me. I know part of it is her diet, I'm going to focus more energy on being sure she eats enough. Since we switched to mostly table food, I think she's not getting as much as she used to because she throws off whatever she doesn't like (she likes peas, but hates carrots, so she picks out the carrots and throws them off the chair. sigh). She also tends to play with her food more when she gets bored. Anyway, that's one thing I'm going to focus more on because I think good nutrition will make a big difference. I hope. Don't get me wrong, she's not going hungry, but she may not be ready to go 100% table food yet like I thought.

Ok I think that's enough rambling for tonight.

I promise to bring pictures soon!

♥

I'm in a bit of a grouchy mood today for some reason. I have work up to my eyeballs. I'm drowning in phone calls and paperwork and to-do lists.

We missed the good fireworks last night. We got outside as soon as they ended. It would have been spectacular to watch. :(

Reagan is such a doll. I haven't really posted much about her, but she's 14 months old now (!!!). I have got to get a video of her "running", it is the most adorable thing to watch. Also, she says "cracker", "mama", "daddy", and she shakes her head at me and puts her hands out in the "all done!" position when she doesn't want anymore food (that's if I get to her before she starts throwing it all off her high chair).



( Click for more )

I'll try to come back and post more substance tonight or tomorrow. It's been so busy around here with our business, but busy in a good way, finally!

♥

Man, my little baby is a little girl now. Well, she's still mostly baby, but the personality. Wow.

She has finally started saying more than just "Mama" and "Dada". She doesn't say a ton, but "cracker" is a new favorite. Everytime I go and get her a cracker, I emphasize it over and over again. Now, I hear it all day from her. Everytime she gets grouchy, "CACKA! CACKER! CACKACAKA!" It's pretty cute. She fell down and hit her head the other day, and in the middle of her wailing I could distinguish "CAAACCCKKAAAA". LOL!

She has gotten really fast. She tries to run a lot, and it is seriously hilarious to watch. She picks her little feet up really high and goes really fast, and oh my god. I love it. I will really miss these toddling days.

She also blows kisses! Also, she gestures more. She does the open-palm thing when she's done eating, and says "Dah! Dah!" (maybe "done"? maybe just babbling? who knows). She puts anything resembling a cellphone straight to her ear, and the other day she actually said "E-yo?" (hello?) Just once, but how funny is that?

I'm trying to wean her from the jarred baby food. It was costing us nearly $20 a week some weeks. Can't do that. So far, canned/frozen veggies seem to be a good substitute (not to mention a little healthier in most instances). I'm lazy. Seriously though, she seems to be adjusting well. Before, when I would take away a jarred meal and substitute with table foods, I would have a very cranky baby. Now, I don't notice a big difference. I definitely need to work on expanding her food choices, though.

She hardly ever breastfeeds anymore. Well, most days anyway. Once when she wakes up, maybe twice during the day (sometimes only once), and once at night. I'm not counting the times I do offer and she snacks for maybe 30 seconds. It feels like hardly ever, seriously. I don't think she's self-weaning, she's just an active baby and hates to be still for any long period of time. heh

Pictures? Of course!

( awwwww )

I guess that's it for now.
I hope you guys are doing well! I need to catch up with some of you, send out my new number, etc. I'll do that in the morning, John is hovering and waiting for me to go to bed at the moment.

♥

It's been a pretty good weekend.

Reagan is toddling around like crazy! It is so funny watching her. I know I'll miss that when she starts walking more steadily. Right now she walks very well, she practically never crawls anymore, but she's still walking with that really cute "toddler walk". Hopefully she'll be doing that for awhile longer, because it is the cutest thing in the world.

It's kind of strange, that I guess I am technically a "work at home mom" now. I do a lot of work here for our business, plus taking care of Reagan. I do still work for Chris 1-2 times a week, but not enough to consider it a part time job even. I kind of like it.
There are downsides, of course. I don't really ever feel like my job is done. There's always Reagan, and when Reagan is napping, that's when I tackle the bulk of my work. When Reagan's up, then I have work AND her. After Reagan goes to sleep, there's usually more work in the form of John's stuff and housework.

I'm not complaining, it's just something I'm working on transitioning into better.

Yesterday, Reagan kept trying to put socks on by herself. Very cute. Also, she understands the concept of headbands, sunglasses, and hats.

As always, I have pictures!

( See? Behind the cut! )

I'm going to be working on the layout of this place, along with a few other little things to make it "nifty". haha.

I'm also working on expanding this blog to include more than just photos and "this is what we did today" things. I really want it to be more involved, not just for relatives but for friends and other people who are interested.

I guess that's all for now. Bye now! :)

♥

At the hospital last Sunday -


( Click for more! )

Beautiful girl, yes she is.

She can walk, but she's scared. hahaha. She lacks in confidence, apparently. She's taken a step or two, but then she'll realize that she's ALL BY HERSELF. Then she'll slowly lower herself to the floor. Sometimes, if she's walking towards me, she doesn't even bother lowering to the floor. She just lifts up her arms literally falls straight forward, into my arms. It doesn't matter how far away I am, as long as she feels I could catch her, she falls. It's quite cute, actually. I think she'll be the type of child to jump into the pool and let me catch her.

She eats anything I put in front of her. Tomatoes are particularly fun. She eats one and then makes a face like "OH MY GOD WHAT THE HECK IS IN MY MOUTH". That's another "bad mom" confession, I give her tomato from time to time because her face makes me laugh harder than a mom really should laugh at her child.

Still working on developing her love for the sippy cup, she still prefers me. It comes with its ups and downs.

I've lost almost 25 lbs since I started really trying to lose weight back in September or so (though I haven't been nearly as consistent as I should have been), and almost 35 since I gave birth. Not bad, even if it has taken me almost a year. I still have just a little ways to go before I reach my real goal, but I'm proud of myself right now.

( Some before/after pictures )

On a more serious note - my grandfather (on my dad's side) has cancer. I'm not sure what kind, but they went to remove a tumor this morning, and it's all over his brain. It's all over his body too, I think.
I don't know much more than that, how long he has, if he is going to go with treatment or not. We're all trying to cope with this, either way he goes.
Grandpa - if you're reading this (though I know it will be later as you'll probably be in the hospital for a little while, I love you and we'll be up to visit you soon!

I guess that's all for now. My baby is headed out of my line of sight, so..bye now!

♥
Ash

Dear Reagan,

This month has been VERY exciting with you! I told your daddy the other night, "She's just getting more and more FUN!". It's true, too. I love playing with you even more now. You laugh more, which is wonderful. You used to not be much into laughing, or we had to practically do cartwheels to get it out of you. Not so much, now. It makes playtime so much more rewarding for me, honestly.

You have also taken your first step! Well, sort of. Your Nana says it doesn't count because you fell, but it seemed like more of a step to me. You've been looking so much older to me lately. I put your hair up for the first time yesterday (well, first time in a ponytail). You looked like a toddler. You almost ARE a toddler. It makes me sad in a way, but I'm also really looking forward to watching you grow even more. Watching you learn new words, learn about the world around you. I'm excited about you walking, talking, and interacting more with us. Well, you already interact alot with us, but actually being able to communicate with something other than "EH!" and "UH!"

The other day, you wanted your daddy to hold you ALOT. It was kind of a first in itself. Not only did you reach for him (even while I was holding you), but you wouldn't let me take you back! It didn't make me sad at all, I was really proud of you actually. It showed me how much you really are growing up. I didn't have to hide to hand you off to anyone. We went to your cousin Jonathan's 8th birthday party, and you wanted all sorts of people to hold you. That was also a first. It was kind of nice, actually.

You are a very BOSSY baby. VERY demanding, just like your momma. It's kind of funny, but I know I have to make sure to not let it get out of control. When you want more food, you want it RIGHTNOWWHEREISMYFOODGIVEITTOMENOWWWWWWWW. I am trying to teach you the word "More" (sometimes I sign it too, most times I forget), and maybe you get it, but you don't say it. That's ok, though. You will one day, and you'll wear me out with it I'm sure. THEN we can work on "Please" and "Thank you". So exciting (sarcasm)!

I just love you so so much. I love snuggling with you at 3 AM, even if I do lose sleep. I don't mind as much as I used to. You normally go back to sleep easily. While I am looking forward to a full night of sleep, I also know that one day I will miss these nighttime snuggles/feedings. The other night, you would NOT sleep by yourself. You HAD to be with us, and you slept fine as long as you were with us. You didn't even have to nurse all the time, you just ate and then snuggled up against your daddy. It was really precious, honestly.

I know one day you will think I am totally uncool, and I may listen to all the wrong music, and say all the wrong things. But you know what, I really do think the world of you. I don't expect you to be perfect, I know you are human just like I am. I'm just so proud to be called your mother.

Love,
Your momma

( We put her hair up for the first time the other day...CUTE. (Click here!) )

Jan 30, 19:02
Dear Reagan,
As I type this, you are sitting at my feet playing happily with some of your daddy's work maps. They're laminated, so I think/hope they will be safe from you!

I know I say it every month, but I seriously cannot believe you are already 9 months. In just 3 short months, we will be celebrating your first birthday. This is mind-blowing to me.

I'm so overwhelmed right now, every month that goes by, I get more and more afraid that I won't be able to handle being a mom. Soon we will be getting into issues of discipline, life teachings, sharing, all that good stuff. What if I mess it up? It's so scary. I just trust my instincts, and follow your lead for the most part. You're pretty good at telling me what you need, when you need it (usually you "shout" at me, hehe).

Still no real words yet, you prefer to stick to shrieking and squealing more than anything. You do say "babababa" alot, and the other day you said something like "yeah-yeah!" towards your daddy, sounded very much like "da-da!". You haven't said Ma-ma in awhile, so I guess that will come on its own. I'm not going to rush you, and it's not like you can be rushed anyways.

You are getting into EVERYTHING. It's fun in a sense, you're so much more playful and I love chasing you around, and having you chase me. You aren't much of a laugher, but you do grin and squeal alot (you are doing it at this minute, actually). You do it in such a hilarious way, it's like you KNOW what you are saying. Your eyebrows raise, you nod, and squeak and squeal to your heart's content. So funny!

You pull up, crawl, roll over (of course), sit up on your own, push yourself to sitting, you can even stand on your own for very short seconds at a time. You don't do it much, but if I'm holding your hands and let go, you will do it from time to time. It's always freaky to me, I can't imagine you walking around this place! It almost makes me crack up, picturing it for some reason. Still, just a month ago you were just getting the hang of crawling, and in just these few short weeks you have really taken off. What will next month bring?

You love your food, too! Ever since I introduced toast the other day, you don't really like me feeding you anymore. You keep trying to grab the spoon yourself, and get mad at me while I feed you. We are going to have to buckle down and get you a seat with a tray, so you can really feed yourself now! You love grabbing the spoon out of my hand, and then trying to feed yourself. I prefer to not have ALL your outfits stained with carrots and sweet peas though, so I don't let you much. Not until we get actual finger foods, or less watery baby food! I'm almost afraid I wasted money on all the jarred food in the cabinet. I spent almost $20 on baby food the other day, and you might want nothing to do with it now! Dang. I'll get creative and mix it in with stuff if I get desperate, I guess.

I've finally hit the end of my rope on bringing you to work with me, unfortunately. It really worked out great for awhile, but you just require way too much supervision now! After much searching, we finally have someone to watch you twice a week (Hi Katie!), and that is such a relief. I'll miss you, but I won't be gone long anyways. I know you'll have more fun playing at home, than being stuck in a playpen at work with me.

I wish this was a funnier letter, but I'm just so worn out I can't even think of anything hilarious to type. You are a cutie, though. You get lots of attention everywhere I go. People stop me, talk to you, ask about you, talk about your big blue eyes, your teeth, your smile, your hair, everything. I never get tired of all the attention, although sometimes it makes my outings take alot longer than I plan!

Well, you are now pulling on my shirt and yelling at me. It's definitely getting too close to your bedtime. I love you so much, sweetie.
I'm going to get you to sleep now! haha.

Love,
Mama!

( Click here for stats and pictures, now that she's in bed! )

Whew.

Time to go clean up my messy place.

♥
Ash

Reagan keeps trying to stand up, without even using something to pull up on. What the heck, girly?! She'll get on her knees, and then put one leg up (foot down), and try and just stand up using just sheer strength in her legs. Of course she doesn't even come close, and topples over immediately, but it's still freaky!

More later, I'm hungry right now. Her 9 month appointment was today, so a few stats/pictures later!

My happy baby is back. Yayy. Probably a combination of more solid food (we ran out for about 2-3 days, and I was scraping by with sweet potatoes, applesauce, and lots of nursing. We finally have more), and therefore, better sleep. She is getting into EVERYTHING. I used to be happy that I had a nice, content baby who was happy playing with toys. Oh, no. Toys are boring, don't you know? She would MUCH rather pull all the plugs out of the sockets, climb on the stairs, pull all the books off the shelves, pull anything she can get out of the entertainment center....

I shouldn't complain, I'm happy that she's happy again. She's not as clingy, in fact all of yesterday she kept pushing to be let down so she could go and cause more mayhem. Trash cans, you name it. I try and distract her with a WHOLE BUCKET of toys, but she just tries to move it out of the way so she can get to the trash can.

She's walking along the furniture like it's nothing. Not FAST, but without difficulty. It's pretty damn cute. It's only been a MONTH since she started tentatively crawling...what will another month bring, I wonder?

I have pictures of her IN the trash can, and a video of her pulling the books off the shelves (I know I'm probably teaching her bad habits, lol). Right now, I'm going to plop her in the crib and get a MUCH needed shower (she has been going, going, going since 8 AM, it's 11 AM now and I'm STINKY).

She has definitely discovered the stairs...I'd been hoping they would remain "out of sight" for awhile. I don't mind, except that the floor is tile, and most of the time she is wearing a one-piece set that covers her feet (slippery). :/

Oook I just heard the trash can fall over. Off I go.

Just a quick note....

Not only is Reagan pulling up like it's nothing, but she has started slowly "cruising" along whatever she pulls up on. Sometimes she tries to stand on her own, but it doesn't work.

At this rate, she'll be walking before her 1st birthday. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS.