(This is copied from my personal online journal to Reagan)

Dear Reagan,

What can I say about you? I don't know where to start, but then I never do. I feel like this is the "big" post, this is your one-year letter, this should be insightful and funny and say everything I haven't been able to say up until now. I'm afraid I won't live up to that, but you'll forgive me, right?
I'm actually a day late writing this just because I wanted to really be mentally able to focus on it, and I haven't been able to up until now. These letters are important to me.

Words seriously cannot express the love I have for you. I'm sitting here, looking at this keyboard, and I just...don't know how to say it. You're wonderful. You snuggle with us now, which is absolutely the best feeling in the world I have to say. We have a little game where I hold you close to my chest and your Daddy gives us both a bear hug and we sway back and forth and hum for a few seconds(don't laugh! It's sweet!). You seem to enjoy it. When he pulls away, you snuggle in and hum again even if he hasn't bear-hugged us yet. It's beautiful.

You started saying Mama the day before your birthday party. I can't even explain to you how that makes me feel. I know you know "Mama" is me, because you pretty much only say it towards me. Sometimes I can't tell if you're saying "Mama" or just humming or saying "yum yum", but when I hear it clearly it's the best sound in the world. I came in today and you shouted "Mama!". I love it. I love you.

We have entered toddlerhood for the most part, and I'm not sure how to transition. It's alot of fun, but I still see you as my little baby. I probably will for the rest of your life, so get used to it now. You're a good baby, though. Some days you are clingier than others, but those are the days when I try and play with you more. That's good for me too, because it relaxes me to just sit on the floor and let you play with my hair, or hand me toys and take them back, or whatever else you do. You also enjoy taking everything out of any bag you find, and putting it all back as fast as you can. It's adorable.

Life has been very busy for us lately, and I feel like I'm missing you growing up in all this chaos. Even though I'm mostly working from home, I don't feel mentally "here" alot. I wish I could explain to you that we're doing all this for you, to provide you with the things you need (and some that you want). We're doing this so that we can be financially stable enough to really enjoy life. It may be stressful now, but we're transitioning. I want to raise you with the right work ethic, a "go-getter" attitude, not an attitude or one that expects everything to be handed to you. I do want to give you things of course, but I want you to learn the value of a dollar, how to take care of your money, and how to go after your dreams no matter what they are.
I think your father is such a great example of this. He is one of the most ambitious persons I know, and he always has been. I'm excited to raise you with him, because I know he will be such a great example for you.

I love you, sugarbun.

♥
Mama

( A brief year in review, in photos )

( One year old, and second zoo trip! )

More updates to come soon! Keep checking back. You shouldn't be disappointed! :)

♥

I've been bad and haven't updated this in awhile. It's going to be put on my regular to-do list as something to do at least once a week, because that's how fast things are changing around here!
I am going to break this down into a couple of posts so that my friends and family with dial-up won't be overwhelmed with photos.

Here are some highlights from her 1-year birthday party:

1) Reagan ate all her carrot cake (my mom made it for her)! It took her awhile, but she did it. Well, not counting the few pieces that fell off the highchair, and the ones she fed to random people passing by. haha. She likes to share. Hopefully she'll keep that trait.

2) LOTS and LOTS of clothing. I just yesterday finally got it all sorted and hung up/folded and put away! I'm excited because she's a small baby and 12 month size clothing will probably fit her for a little while longer. I hope!

3) Everyone loved the posterboard I made. I had everyone sign in, instead of doing the "milestones" like I had planned. I just didn't have the energy. I like it better this way, too.

5) We played a playlist of different songs for her. Songs like "Let Them Be Little", "I Hope You Dance", "Isn't She Lovely", "Close To You", etc. etc. It made me pretty emotional at random times.

6) I forgot to mention..she says "Mama" now!! She started saying it yesterday when my mom and sister were here, and she definitely knows what it means. When I leave a room, it's "Mama! Mama!" as she comes after me. :)

7) She also says "Yum yum" (or rather "Num num!") when eating. Cuute.

( Click for party pictures! )

Continued!

♥